Hello beautiful people. I hope that despite the dull weather your days have been full of color. For those who are landing on my blog for the first time, where have you been? I promise I’m not as weird as I may sound, I’m weirder. For those diligent readers, don’t you have anything better to do? lol. I’m just messing. Thanks for the support guys. I really do appreciate you staying through all my blubbering.
Onto today’s topic. Yes, I am asking you to break my heart. (Do I get more psychotic than this?…. Probably.) I mean it though, not because I love the pain that comes with heartbreak, but because I love the person I become during and after the healing. I’m sure we’ve all had our hearts broken at some point in life, either by family, friends, a boyfriend/girlfriend or even a pet, I have, a couple of times actually, so I understand how it feels. If you’ve never had your heart broken, are you an alien?
Heartbreak is basically a crushing grief, anguish, or distress. The word has been misused so much. A conductor refuses to give you 10 bob balance and you say you’ve been heartbroken, lol. I know it’s deep but it doesn’t qualify, because heartbreak isn’t caused by a stranger. It’s caused by someone who has/had a special place in your heart, someone you love/loved, someone you trust/trusted.
The stages of heartbreak are pretty similar to the stages of grief. There’s the denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance. I used to be a professional athlete when it came to running away from the thoughts that come with the first 4 stages, but then I’d eventually reach breaking point and explode. I’ve come to understand that pain is actually meant to be felt, because that’s the only healthy way it can be dealt with. Emotions make you human so why not let yourself feel them.
Sometimes when someone breaks your heart, everything around you seems to slow down, days and nights seem longer, happiness feels like a distant memory and sometimes insecurities are awakened. People tell you that it gets better but in that moment, it feels like you’re in this never-ending tunnel of darkness, and every time you think you’re finally in a good place, something happens and suddenly you’re back to feeling hopeless. My honest advice, don’t fight it, just let yourself go through the process.
The queen of heartbreak once said,
‘A heartbroken person is unlike any other person. Their time moves at a completely different pace than ours. It’s this mental, physical, emotional ache and feeling so conflicted. Nothing distracts you from it. Then time passes and the more you live your life and create new habits, you get used to not having a text message every morning saying, ‘Hello, beautiful, Good morning.’ You get used to not calling someone at night to tell them how your day was.’
THE BEAUTY IN HEARTHBREAK.
Although a scar remains, time actually does heal all wounds, physical and emotional. When I was younger I hit a wall when skipping rope. I still remember the pain up to date. If you look at my pictures closely you’ll probably see two scars on my five-head, the bigger one is as a result of that wall injury. See despite the pain, the wound eventually healed and became a scar that has actually been a conversation starter so many times when I meet new people. Without the scar, I’d also not have such a story to tell.
Same thing with heartbreak, eventually the pain reduces and the healing commences. Each day becomes better, you cry less, think about the person/people less, you stop obsessing over what happened or could have happened, your mood begins to change, you start smiling more often and eventually things get back to normal.
The reason I’ve started being more accepting of pain is because of how I’ve seen it transform me into who I am today. Staying stagnant all your life with the same mindset and habits is honestly a bit boring. You have to constantly be ready to grow and be the best version of yourself. Hunny, you can’t do that when you’re always at your comfortable zone, where everything is going right and life is smooth.
Heartbreak has made me more independent and less defined by what people think or say about me. I’ve become more self-aware and gotten to understand the concept of self-love much better. Each time my heart was broken, I grew a little more. There are things I would tolerate a year ago that I would never tolerate right now and there’s a way I thought about certain things in January that I just laugh about now. If it takes a few tears to turn me into an empire that can’t be shaken, then why not.
Is dealing with this kind of thing hard? heck yes, but God doesn’t let you go through what you can’t handle, so whatever you go through, you have the ability to overcome. Smile even when you heart feels like it’s been torn into pieces, because the person you will become afterwards will be worth the pain you’re going through now.
Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.
Thanks for reading. Till next time, Chaooo.
Grow and Glow ✨